There comes a time in many couples’ relationships when you want to make your sex life a footling… spicier. Once y’all’ve learned how to make each others’ bodies feel adept, you can autumn into a real estrus. Trying something new between the sheets requires trust, an open heed and lots and lots of advice. That’southward where the condom word comes in — a word that both partners hold means end. No, seriously, stop. A safe discussion is probably going to come up into play when things are getting rough and kinky. You may not recollect yous need ane before you embark on your erotic nighttime of fun, just in the heat of the moment, yous’ll exist glad you planned ahead.
Clarisse Thorn, writer of
BDSM & Culture: 50 Shades of Stereotype
The S&M Feminist, explains the intended use of a safe word. “When two (or more) people have a BDSM come across together, generally they set a condom word — a word that anyone can say at whatever time to stop the activity.”
Safety words can work for any couple, in any relationship, in whatsoever scenario or kink. It’southward all virtually feeling relaxed in knowing you are giving your partner consent and that you can e’er cheque in to make sure everyone is digging what’s happening in a sexual encounter. In that location’south no way y’all tin can explore the most fulfilling and exciting parts of your sexual fantasies without making sure all partners are comfortable and happy.
The next time y’all get wild in the chamber, consider one of these real safety words to use when the going gets rough.
A favorite safe word of one female Redditor, though you don’t have to say it three times.
Michael and Jan’due south safety word on
The Office — always a oversupply-pleaser.
I Redditor says, “We wanted something guaranteed to stop anyone having a proficient fourth dimension.”
A randomly lighthearted safe discussion probable to give y’all a chuckle.
According to Reddit, “Once you’ve hit Oklahoma, y’all know the good times are over.”
Described by its user as “boring and to the point.”
Tips From a Sexual activity Magic Practitioner
Because getting your partner to stop when yous want to should be as piece of cake as pie.
Condom words inspired past fruit are popular for a reason: They are unexpected and effective since you lot’re not likely to utilize them in the bedroom.
I Redditor describes the perfect traffic light safety word organization, “We mostly use the traffic light system (red for stop, yellow for slow down, greenish for go along going).”
Another great reference to a traffic stop, signaling your partner to pump the brakes.
A Reddit commenter calls the “safe discussion” safe give-and-take dull but constructive since it is crystal articulate.
Honest but business firm — employ it with a partner yous really trust.
A version of this article was originally published in January 2015.